tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20976629613931379262024-03-14T07:20:14.066-07:00Faraway WishesEric and Katie's journey through infertility and adoption.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-81511921144681656962014-05-30T19:04:00.004-07:002014-05-30T19:04:57.999-07:00Overdue updateThis should be a very long post, but it will be short. We are doing very well as a family. Stefan is very well adjusted. He can now walk completely on his own, though he is slower than other children his age and still walks with his hands out to help him balance. He also can get up from the ground by himself as well. He's very determined and making great progress. <div>
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His language skills are awesome. I would say he's fairly fluent in English for a 3 year old, but regrettably has lost a lot of his Serbian. </div>
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We are just so happy he is with us. We can't remember what life was like without him, and couldn't be happier. </div>
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Lastly, we have decided to start saving up for the costs of our next adoption. So far we have $386 saved up! I will be posting fundraisers soon. We will be selling t-shirts again and Dove Chocolate Discoveries, and of course many other things as time moves on. I don't have the option of using my 401k this time, so we have a long road ahead of us. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-49790450356113072842014-02-13T13:40:00.000-08:002014-02-13T13:40:15.365-08:00Don't be afraid. <span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">My little guy in Ukraine died. </span><i class="_4-k1 img sp_2cufep sx_3ec4a8" style="background-color: white; background-image: url(https://fbstatic-a.akamaihd.net/rsrc.php/v2/yN/r/0l9htKQ6S81.png); background-position: -116px -199px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; background-size: auto; color: #37404e; display: inline-block; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; height: 16px; line-height: 18px; vertical-align: -3px; width: 16px;"></i><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> When we thought we were going to adopt from Ukraine we were seriously considering adopting him. He finally had a family in process for him. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Eric and I made the right choice by choosing Serbia, but my heart still breaks for him. At least he is no longer suffering. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">PLEASE I beg all of you, when a family is asking for help with their Adoption, help them. Adoption is not a fairy tale, it's hard and it's messy and it's expensive. Most (not all of the kids, but most) of the kids are living in hell while they wait for their families to raise the money. Every day a child waits in an institution brings them one day closer to death.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br />I don't think most people understand the severity of the situation. There are MILLIONS of children, waiting for someone to get the guts to say "Yes" to them. There are millions of children waiting for help. Some of us are not called to adopt, some of us are called to support those adopting. There are TONS of ways you can support the families that are adopting, it doesn't have to be just through money. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Do not be afraid to help. Do not be afraid to speak out. There are children dying and you, YES YOU, can make a difference. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-19221661679181494962014-01-31T19:53:00.000-08:002014-02-09T09:37:54.356-08:00Things not to say to adoptive parents.I have been wanting to write this post for a while. Many others already have, but I wanted to put in my two cents. These are things I have actually heard from people, even from my family. Some things come from friends who have also adopted, yes we adoptive parents talk about the crazy things people ask us.<br>
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I want to also say, though I was "offended/hurt" by what was said, I understand where it's coming from. People who are not around adoption don't always get it, and other people just have trouble expressing their concerns. I experienced it with both my brothers and my dad. They want to say that they are concerned for us and our child, but because they love me so much, it comes out wrong. I get that. I just wish they would have listened to it in their head before actually saying. I really thought I was going to be more emotionally sensitive during the pre-adoption time, and I amazed myself! Instead of blowing up at friends and family members, I handled it fairly gracefully.<br>
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Hopefully I am not hurting anyone in return for posting this, that is not my intention. I just want to help more people understand that when congratulating a family on a new addition or asking legitimate questions we should all pause and think before we blurt it out.<br>
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1. Your child isn't going to speak English, how are you going to raise him/her?<br>
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<li> A: Well, your biological kid didn't start off speaking English either, and you seem to have done just fine. I will admit though, now that I'm home and actually raising a child who speaks very little English, it is harder than I anticipated; but we manage. We are very lucky and have an extremely intelligent son who understands a lot of what we say, even if he can't always speak it back. </li>
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2. (In reference to adopting a child with special needs, before we knew the extent of his needs -- not that it would have mattered to either Eric or I.) Why would you want a child like that? He/She is going to need 24 hour care. </div>
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<li>A: I am pretty sure all two-year-olds need 24 hour care. Most kids up into the pre-teen age need to be watched for most of the time they are awake. WE DECIDED at the BEGINNING of our process that we would be adopting a child with special needs, and really most kids have some sort of need, it's just that some need more. Technically, I was a special needs child because I had physical limitations due to my arthritis. I also had bladder control issues because of the medicine I was on. As adoptive parents, we got to make a choice to let someone very special into our lives, but just like biological parents, once we know what we are dealing with, we take that information and run with it, and get the BEST CARE we can find/afford. Why would I want "a kid like that?" Because God chose him for us!</li>
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3. In a congratulations card do not write: Congrats on your new "Son" or "Daughter"/Congrats "mom" and "dad" or anything like that. </div>
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<li>He is not my "son". He exists and he is my REAL SON. I have "adopted" sons and daughters at work, because that is my pretend family. If you want to refer to them as my "sons" and "daughters" that is fine and correct because most of them are older than I am. Stefan is part of my REAL family, so please drop the quotes. </li>
<li>Along with this, asking me about his "real" mom is also wrong. I am his "real" mom. Stefan is lucky he had a biological mom who was strong enough to realize she couldn't care for him, and a foster mom who took EXTREMELY good care of him until I could get to him. He is lucky enough to have two other moms who did what they could to help give him the best possible life. I just hope I can live up to that. Lord knows I'm trying. Not all orphans have the good start that Stefan had, but I imagine all other adoptive moms would agree that we are real.</li>
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4. While you are over there, you should bring a few extra kids home and sell them so you can pay for this one.</div>
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<li>Do I even have to point out everything that is wrong with that statement? And yes, someone actually told me me this. </li>
<li>FIRST OF ALL, I am not buying and selling children. That's called child trafficking, and though I think that some agencies/governments (not Serbia, that's why I picked them. I love Serbia and respect them fully for their view on adoption) charge outrageous amounts for their "services provided", that does not mean I am buying my child, nor would I EVER EVER EVER think of selling any child. If I bring home more than one child, I am keeping however many I bring home. END OF STORY. </li>
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5. How much are you paying for your child?</div>
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<li>I think I covered this in #4, but I am not paying for my child. I am paying for services provided:</li>
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<li>background check, home study, visa application, travel, birth certificates, passport, translation fees etc.</li>
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6. He or she better not speak their native language around me! </div>
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<li>Well, no one can be fluent in a new language in 3 weeks, ok maybe a genius could I guess I don't know. Little kids speak their own language all the time. They babble and you don't care then, so can't you just give my kid some time to adjust and pretend he's just babbling like most other 2 year olds?</li>
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<li>Happy to report the person who said this, really loves Stefan and doesn't mind that I have to translate sometimes.</li>
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<div>There are many more and I plan to add them, but I'm publishing this now because it's been waiting for me to finish it for 2 weeks now! </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-59863071604328572942014-01-31T10:23:00.001-08:002014-01-31T10:23:39.889-08:00Appointments Galore!Stefan has been a busy boy! We've gone to probably 6 different appointments for Stefan, next week alone he has 4. So far everything is coming back good. They are very impressed with Stefan and see a ton of potential. We are so lucky to have him in our lives.<div><br></div><div> His English is getting better and better, but we see his Serbian slipping away. This is bittersweet for us. I wish he would be able to keep some of his Serbian skills. </div><div><br></div><div>I think things are going well, we still have some trouble when mama leaves the room/house, but we are working on that too. The time has sped by crazy fast!</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-75036303097699578552014-01-11T20:39:00.001-08:002014-01-12T06:36:21.869-08:00One Month HomeStefan has been home for one month. Well, he's been in the United States for one month. Thanks to some trouble at O'Hare we were still trying to get home on the 12 of January. This time has gone by so fast.<br>
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Friday we went to the doctor and got a good plan in place. Some of his results came back and the doctor called yesterday and Stefan is good and healthy. He is going to stay on his medication for his seizures for now, and he is going to get braces to help his legs get stronger. The only other thing we have to add aside from PT is some Vitamin D. Good news for now!<br>
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How is Stefan doing? Pretty fantastic all things considering. He seems very happy. I know it's got to be hard on him still. He laughs a lot, keeps us laughing too. He is such a joy. My mom and I were discussing today how much he is like my Grandma Kitty (the orphan Grandma from previous posts). She was always happy and laughing, loved to sing and dance and had leg braces. Stefan seems to be always happy, loves to sing and dance and is going to get leg braces. Grandma was nice to everyone and loved everyone, Stefan loves everyone he meets, except for men with beards. People were always enamored with my Grandma Kitty, no one could ever hate her because of the wonderful person she was, she spread joy and it was impossible to be upset when she was around, we see the same thing in Stefan. Since being home, even on the plane ride home, all he has done is spread joy to others. I have random people coming up to me all the time telling me how sweet he looks, and how his laughter made their day.<br>
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Other big news with Stefan? He's FINALLY SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT. Well almost he whimpers a few times during the night, and I help him find his sippy cup or snuggle him a little tighter. (Yes, he is sleeping in our bed, and he's going to stay there until he's ready for his.)<br>
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How are mom and dad? We are just peachy! Eric is working a lot, and figuring out how to be dad. Stefan is finally figuring out that dad is fun! Mom is tired, I've been a little sick this week, so that makes it a little harder. I don't sleep much because I'm in "oh no I have to be awake if he wakes mode" still, but we are happy. Very happy.<br>
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And now to make you smile, a picture from Christmas of our darling Sweety Petey. (My nickname for him)<br>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdHzJVVCQUUeR-xeL9Zj9LkKRQ1uyu7qmozn-29exlZvhUPEohCF58oYJj-fwhMu0h_6zPkX5HJ2MRNFMYqiItVdAyYMoCPLuZkHgTte5u7nraziuDr7IBIvFwy4TQdx_QfnbSo_t4RV8/s1600/DSCF0190.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdHzJVVCQUUeR-xeL9Zj9LkKRQ1uyu7qmozn-29exlZvhUPEohCF58oYJj-fwhMu0h_6zPkX5HJ2MRNFMYqiItVdAyYMoCPLuZkHgTte5u7nraziuDr7IBIvFwy4TQdx_QfnbSo_t4RV8/s1600/DSCF0190.JPG" height="213" width="320"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Shortly before coming home. <br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdHzJVVCQUUeR-xeL9Zj9LkKRQ1uyu7qmozn-29exlZvhUPEohCF58oYJj-fwhMu0h_6zPkX5HJ2MRNFMYqiItVdAyYMoCPLuZkHgTte5u7nraziuDr7IBIvFwy4TQdx_QfnbSo_t4RV8/s1600/DSCF0190.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCRxIcWSUf2uejC9FZhEaQe84K8eDidy7THVYm_Zu9fEDDTXMAtyJrJupgzBQXteQkZj1XZ92C1VdLpDIrT_waf-pGEp49K4267zMEdWJEHjQjgVxRe70R-2cb7xKW8MOo-c5CHKyu_T0/s640/blogger-image--1895092317.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCRxIcWSUf2uejC9FZhEaQe84K8eDidy7THVYm_Zu9fEDDTXMAtyJrJupgzBQXteQkZj1XZ92C1VdLpDIrT_waf-pGEp49K4267zMEdWJEHjQjgVxRe70R-2cb7xKW8MOo-c5CHKyu_T0/s640/blogger-image--1895092317.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Adoption Day</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAwh86wnuqn7v5U87DuAGnNOuvrmimw57wjUNv6V_GJ1NZQ9AR5vkKBdGqQfqxnL11vICAgFlFeVDidD89O05BL7mrpoj6CT1SCUiZi-TBASV7hHdpQlNguwGqLHemAYfdxxmFDxRTyBw/s640/blogger-image-723658706.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAwh86wnuqn7v5U87DuAGnNOuvrmimw57wjUNv6V_GJ1NZQ9AR5vkKBdGqQfqxnL11vICAgFlFeVDidD89O05BL7mrpoj6CT1SCUiZi-TBASV7hHdpQlNguwGqLHemAYfdxxmFDxRTyBw/s640/blogger-image-723658706.jpg"></a></div><br></div></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-43450326533296876642014-01-07T11:47:00.003-08:002014-01-07T11:47:46.114-08:00Baby RegistriesWell, my sisters-in-law and my mother-in-law are planning adoption showers for us. Although, it's a combination of adoption shower/welcome home Stefan. We are very excited.<br />
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Because we are inviting like, I dunno ... everyone we know, I'm registering Stefan for things he likes as well as things we still need or that we think will make life a little easier. My choices are wedding registry or baby registry.<br />
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Now, I'm not one to complain about fairness very often, and Stefan is only 2 so he can still pass as a "baby," but what if he was 4 or 8 or 12? Surely I'm not the only one to have an adoption shower? I think of myself as original, but I can't be that original, that I'm the only on on the face of the planet to have an adoption shower?<br />
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This frustrates me, because we adoptive families are so often looked at like we are second class. A lot of the time you get asked about your son or daughters "real family" or the child gets put in a different category than your biological ones. I understand that it's going to happen, I've accepted that I will have to explain my family situation for the rest of my life, but does it have to be a battle everyday? Can't just once, the world around us treat us equally? Wouldn't it be nice to go to the registry section online and see "adoption registry". Do people who adopt older children just not need anything? You're just ready for it no questions asked. If you're giving birth you are totally unprepared, but if your adopting you're just on the ball and have NOT ONLY the money it takes to complete the adoption, but the money for all the stuff you will need?<br />
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Ok. I'm done ranting. It's a little annoyance and lets face it, I've got bigger fish to fry. Although, I think I am going to send out some e-mails to some of the places we've registered at and just let them know, it wouldn't hurt for them to consider those of us who build our families through adoption. Who knows what kind of support they would get from the adoption community if they would be the first to offer it?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-24723496844806048192014-01-03T13:59:00.001-08:002014-01-03T13:59:33.023-08:00Coming home, Christmas and the New Year!So, coming home was busy. Way busier than I thought it would be, and that's why I am just now getting to this.<br />
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Coming home from Serbia went so well. Stefan did amazing! He laughed the whole way, except when he was sleeping. We did get up and walk in the plane a little, but only when we just couldn't take it anymore. He loved it though. He blew kisses to everyone around us, and said hello to all the "Grandmas" he could see. Several passengers told us what a good job we did raising our son! I said "Thanks! We've only known him for 3 weeks!" They were all amazed that he wasn't our biological son. He impressed them even more with his very limited English. Everything was going perfectly until we landed in Chicago. </div>
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Let me tell you. WE WILL NEVER COME HOME THROUGH CHICAGO O'HARE when adopting. NOT EVER EVER AGAIN! Customs was fine, they directed us to the wrong line, but that was an easy enough fix. The guy said here is your pink folder, let them know you adopted they will move you to the top of the pile. So that's what we did. There were probably 50 or 60 other people waiting in the immigration line, all with pink folders. For adoptive families, there was us, and a mother who was bringing home her little girl from China. Her family was on adoption number 8 and this was their first time through Chicago. We told them we had adopted and that we needed to get to our next flight asap. "Don't worry we're the best of the best" they said. </div>
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Yeah... I get that it was busy. I get that technically you shouldn't cut the lines, but we were the only ones with little children... heck the only ones with kids at all, and both kids had been up for 24+ hours. Needless to say we missed our flight, thanks to "the best of the best". When they did finally call us Stefan finally had fallen asleep. Then they tell me they need another picture for his application, because the dumb @$$ was in such a hurry to open the documents he ripped the picture. "I don't know what you're going to do if you don't have another picture." he tells me. </div>
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Well, luckily I had one, but I had to search through everything to find it, all while our plane was taking off with out us. I WAS FURIOUS. I was so angry when I found the picture I threw it at him and said "You're f***ing lucky I had this. I suggest next time you be more careful, especially since you had no intention to get us to our plane on time." </div>
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Then the next guy says, "You're going to have to wake him up I need to see his face."</div>
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Wait. What? Wake him up? F*** that. "We're not waking him up." I informed the guy, "You're just going to have to look from there." So Eric turned enough so the guy could see part of Stefan's face. </div>
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"Ok you're all set. Have a nice flight." They said with a smirk.</div>
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I glared back. "No, now I get to go find a new flight, or I have to drive 8 hours home (Eric tells me it's actually 6 but close enough) with a child I barely know, and who I am sure has had enough. If I thought I could have gotten away with punching them both, I might have done it, they both deserved it. </div>
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So we go to see if there is another flight to Minneapolis that night. Nope, not on our airline, and we couldn't afford to switch. Ok, what to do? Take a bus? No that didn't sound appealing. So we asked for a list of rental car places. We could have spent the night and gone out in the morning, but it turns out they were cancelling flights the next morning.</div>
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We had every intention of driving the rest of the way. We got about an hour out of Chicago (after like 2 or 3 thanks to rush hour) and Eric had enough. We called his mom to see if she could call his uncle so we could crash at their place for a few hours. Took off around 4 the next morning and that was that. We had a few melt downs on the way home, but who could blame Stefan? Even Eric and I wanted to cry.</div>
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I will keep the rest of this short for now. Stefan should be waking from his nap soon so, I won't have time to finish anyway. </div>
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CHRISTMAS!</div>
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We had a very nice Christmas until it was time for Stefan to have a moment to himself. Poor guy got overloaded with people and gifts. We tried to help him stay separate from the group, but he really wanted to play with the other kids, so we let him. (I know we are terrible for not isolating, but he loved it)</div>
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Christmas morning we opened presents just with our little family, and then the meltdown came. He cried ALL DAY after the gifts were done. He decided he hated Eric and anytime Eric looked at him he cried. So we let him cry. We tried to console him if we could, but the fact was, he just wanted to cry. The hatred for Eric continued for the next few days, despite our best attempts to get it to stop. Strangely enough, Eric decided to feel chocolate pudding to Stefan, and all was good after that. They have no problems any more, at least for now. </div>
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New Years!</div>
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Eric went to bed at 8, Stefan stayed up until 10. Mama got insomnia and didn't sleep that night. We've been having mostly happy days. Stefan is starting to test us A LOT. He has also decided he doesn't have to listen to anyone unless he wants to. He is absolutely adorable when he does it, but we are working on it. My favorite is when you can see he is ready to drop over from being tired and says, "neću go to sleep Mama" (I will not go to sleep Mama) He is starting to tell me no a lot, but he is also learning that Mama is the Boss. I was very frustrated with him one day, so I put him in the corner and sat near him. He laughed into the corner, that of course made me more mad, but after a little bit of his laughter, I was laughing too. This boy will be a challenge, I can tell already! He is way too smart for his own good!</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-20129821090417019362013-12-06T09:48:00.001-08:002013-12-06T09:48:39.652-08:00December 6th 2013 a family is made.It's official! We have a beautiful son named Stefan. The ceremony took place today. The people from his social center gave us flowers, and a shirt and sippy cup for Stefan. It's hard to believe it's over and we are officially his parents. So many emotions right now, but most of them are super happy.<div><br></div><div>We love you all and will write more soon!</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-29604630907929909132013-12-03T02:46:00.001-08:002013-12-03T02:46:02.744-08:00Day 8 in SerbiaOh my gosh everyone is happier! Eric was able to get the little man to bed last night, with out me. What's even better? Little man stayed there! Until about 3 am, which is livable. Eric has adjusted his sleeping schedule so I can sleep at night. He goes to bed in the afternoon and then gets up about the time little man goes to bed. Hopefully we will only have to do this for a few more days. <div><br></div><div>What's even better than that you ask? Eric stopped the whining. I don't know how he did it, but little man no longer whines. If he starts to whine Eric looks at him and says "Neh" (pronunciation of the Serbian word for no) and little man stops. Now we only get cries when strangers approach, or people who he knows from the center try to play with him, although he spoke to a few of them today. I think the hard part for him is still missing his foster mom, he brings her up to anyone who will listen, and well the locals listen, are sad for him and then he gets sad, although a few have said what I assumeare nice things about his mommy and daddy. </div><div><br></div><div>This morning we went out to the nearby market and got some sort of "meat pretzel" I guess. It was super good! </div><div><br></div><div>It sounds like the adoption ceremony should be this week, and the we can tell you his name and his face, and we can go back to Belgrade! </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-18504885481931619302013-12-02T12:29:00.001-08:002013-12-02T12:29:42.687-08:00Day 7? In SerbiaSo, I was going to keep up with this, but our opportunities for wifi were not always the best. Once we met our son, my hands have been full. Daddy is trying to comfort him to sleep, so I can get a much needed break, and they can get some much needed bonding. Our little guy is not so fond of daddy, because when they met, Eric had a beard. The beard is since gone, and they get along slightly better now. Eric is trying his best, I know it will come in time.<div><br></div><div>As for bonding, it has been going much easier than we thought it would, however little man misses is foster mother. Though the serious crying has stopped, he whines a lot. The first day we got him alone, I spent hours walking black and forth through the hall. I'm pretty sure there is a permanent track where we walked, unfortunately, not he thinks I should carry him constantly, which is a nice feeling, but my body can't physically do it. We are staying at a daily care center, which I would say is basically an orphanage for older kids. I like the set up, but it gets loud here. I think maybe that is part of our guys problem is all the noise. Everything echoes, the nice thing is, no one here cares if the little guy is screaming. </div><div><br></div><div>We like the town we are in, it's very small. Love the foster family our child came from, even if they did spoil him ;-) but we know he was well loved. It's humbling to know what we are up against as parents. He really loves them, and misses them terribly, but he loves us now too. He was even telling people today, that I am his mommy. When he is mad at me, he just calls me Katie. </div><div><br></div><div>It amazes me how easily he is learning English, we work on it daily, he says hello, good bye, good morning, I lob you, up, come on, banana (it's the same here lol), good job, he says the pict part of picture, and will occasionally repeat things we say when we don't expect it. I can't wait to see how fast he learns when he is emersed in English. I do hope we can mew some of his Serbian phases and songs going though. </div><div><br></div><div>Yesterday morning I must have done something to please him because he said, "good job mommy".</div><div>That was a big moment for us. He was also singing and dancing today, so I'm glad he's getting back to normal. </div><div><br></div><div>It's late and he gets up multiple times in the night, and also very early, so that's all for now. Hope I can write soon! </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-86314221555833603422013-11-25T05:57:00.001-08:002013-11-25T05:57:44.997-08:00Day 1 in SerbiaToday we met with the ministry, the group from the social center where our child is from and our child's foster mother. We basically went over the basics of what the next few weeks will be like. Our child's foster mother is super sweet, you can tell how much she loves our child. She has a sweet soft voice, and has really helped our child become a fighter.<br />
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We got a lot more information on our child, which can't be shared yet, but things are looking good. We get to meet our child tomorrow, we are very excited. Although Eric may have to shave, since we were told today that our child is leery of men with beards. We are going to try the first day with the beard, just because we sent pictures for our child to look at, and Eric had a beard in the pictures. If it doesn't go well, then Eric will be shaving, and then he will look like a bald 16 year old! He looks so young when he shaves.<br />
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Anyway, we get to meet our child tomorrow, so we are super excited for that. We'll be staying just outside of Nis for about a week. Maybe longer, we just will see how things go.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-68475871442376390102013-11-24T01:31:00.001-08:002013-11-24T01:31:21.554-08:00The real adventure begins.We have arrived to the Vienna airport. It's been a long ride so far, but we are so close now, just one more flight to go. We've had very little time to do updates until now, and now we are just too tired to do much. The plane was hot and cramped. The cramped part wasn't too bad, it was the heat that was terrible. It was like camping in July with out the Mosquitos. Right now we are laying on some couch type things, it's quiet here, kinda nice to be someplace peaceful for a moment. Eric is getting a little nap in. I think that since he's finally expressing his emotions, he's a little tired, that and we've been awake for a long time. I guess that's the good thing about working rotating shifts though, you learn how to function on little to no sleep. All I know is on the way home I'm wearing a skirt to get airflow, or we are getting a business class ticket for the long flight. Here's my sleeping beauty. I'm too tired to get a better picture sorry!<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4vc-DKPl564UAK9y4NLv4ZLXSuJrEbBvREMkx3VGtESA3bgtRFqUVmOcDRuiwWSi9jfoNDoPGSrGCXLiRH0mLlvXh2Cdb7uh0T8VL2cm5woGv7aki_oLduE5McIvJVMWkkA32WRw_2fI/s640/blogger-image-869436226.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4vc-DKPl564UAK9y4NLv4ZLXSuJrEbBvREMkx3VGtESA3bgtRFqUVmOcDRuiwWSi9jfoNDoPGSrGCXLiRH0mLlvXh2Cdb7uh0T8VL2cm5woGv7aki_oLduE5McIvJVMWkkA32WRw_2fI/s640/blogger-image-869436226.jpg"></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-36663519152469199352013-11-22T16:28:00.001-08:002013-11-22T16:28:20.743-08:00The time has come.Take a deep breath, let it out slowly. We are leaving tomorrow so meet our child for the very first time. (Eric still wants to keep it a secret, so it's killing me that I can't shout to the world if we have a son or a daughter)<div>First comes the plane ride, the long plane ride to half way around the world. Then the adventure begins. My heart is bursting with joy. Even Eric, who rarely shows emotion, finally admitted he was excited. He even told me to send the pictures we got of our child to him, so he could have them on his phone. </div><div><br></div><div>After 6 long years I can say I'm a mother, and without the weird looks. (I've been a mother for a little while, but that child didn't make it into this world) </div><div><br></div><div>I can't wait. I'm so scatter brained with excitement that I can barely function. </div><div><br></div><div>We have finally made it. </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-16304621760696088342013-11-17T23:15:00.001-08:002013-11-17T23:15:50.747-08:00Less than a week!In less than a week, we will be boarding a plane and traveling 1/2 way around the world to meet a little child. A little child, who we know very little about, in the grand scheme of things. A child, who will not understand when us when we speak, at least until someone teaches us a few Serbian words, and we teach that child a few English words. In a little more than a week 3 lives will change forever. Well, a few more than 3 lives, but ours will be more drastic. <div><br></div><div>What are we feeling? Excitement, joy, anxiety, fear, gratitude, humility, a plethora of emotions. There is so much going through our minds, I don't think I could ever convey it properly.</div><div><br></div><div>Will we love this child on sight? I hope so, but in reality it will probably take time for us to love each other. We feel like we love our child now, and we do and will when we finally meet him or her, but we need time to bond, that precious time that we lost, by not being biologically connected. Right now, our love is abstract and faraway, 1/2 way around the world.</div><div><br></div><div>It's still hard to imagine that in a few short days, we will become parents of a beautiful little 2 year old child. In a way, our child is still abstract. Right now our child, though very much a real child, is just words in an e-mail. We haven't seen a picture, we've just seen the beautiful words used to describe him or her. No, the words were not poetically put together, they were "matter of fact", but because they "are our child" they are beautiful words.</div><div><br></div><div>So, what's left to do? Pack, arrange our time off from work, BUY PLANE TICKETS, dig out our passports, make arrangements to exchange our monies, buy dog food, set up a skype account, I have a few appointments I have to set up yet... There is a lot left to do in a short amount of time, BUT, it WILL all get done, by the grace of God.</div><div><br></div><div>In short, we can't wait, even though we are nervous, because we want to be the absolute best parents we can be, we just can't wait. The waiting and the anticipation is killing us. :-)</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-47979630501723969912013-11-11T09:15:00.001-08:002013-11-11T09:15:36.893-08:00Why?Adoption is an emotional process. Try as we may, sometimes those of us who are adopting, can't keep our emmotions in check when we are speaking with people. Our entire lives are in a mircroscope for the duration of the process. I LOVE to talk about our adoption, I could do it all day long. I've wanted to write this post for a while. When you are adopting you get asked "why?" a lot! Sometimes it's innocent, sometimes its malicious, sometimes it's asked out of ignorance. Sometimes you feel like explaining it and sometimes you don't, mostly because you've already answered the same question about five thousand times.<br />
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So, here are my reasons:<br />
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<b>Why are we adopting?</b><br />
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1. My husband and I are adopting, because God called us to do so.<br />
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2. My grandmother was an orphan, so adoption was always part of my plan. I know I have mentioned it earlier, but it really is a big part of why I was always open to adoption.<br />
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3. There are millions of orphans all over the world, Eric and I are very fortunate to have a good stable home, with stable jobs. Why not open our hearts and our homes to a child who needs a home that we can provide.<br />
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4. Fertility. I've known for a while that I am not a very fertile person. We have done everything we feel we could within our moral code, and still have not gotten pregnant. This ties in with number 1. I really feel that if we are going to have a biological child, it will be after adopting. I think God knows that it would have been harder for my husband to decide to adopt, after being able to have a biological child. He worries about money and being a good father. I think God wants us to adopt first. I will add here, that I DO NOT expect to get pregnant after adopting. We fully intend and expect that we will be adopting a second child once we as a family are all settled, and our son or daughter (not sharing the sex of our child until we are traveling) is adjusted.<br />
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5. Why not?<br />
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<b>Why are we adopting a child with special needs?</b><br />
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I've been asked this question many times. I've even been asked in rather rude terms like "Why wouldn't you want a normal child?" Sometimes I've been able to answer this question with grace and love, and sometimes, the mama bear claws have come out.<br />
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1. We didn't chose this child. God lead us to adopting, because he had us picked out for a very special child. If that child has extra needs, then who are we to say no to God? I TRULY BELIEVE God is 100% behind this adoption. I truely believe that God arranged everything. Sure, technically you can say that Eric and I "made" choices, but that choice was to follow God to our child.<br />
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2. Why not? If I got pregnant it could be with a child with special needs. Is it a little scary? Sure. It's a big committment to adopt a child with special needs, especially as a first time parent. BUT children with special needs, need a home just as much as the "normal" kids.<br />
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3. What is normal? I don't believe in normal. It's a swear word in my family. I don't feel like I should discriminate against an innocent child, based on his or her abilities.<br />
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<b>Why are we adopting internationally? Or Why aren't we adopting from the states? </b><br />
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This is a very common question asked in a variety of ways. I have actually had gotten into arguments about it. EVERYONE seems to have an opinion on which form of adoption we should have chosen.<br />
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We chose to adopt internationally because that's where we were led.<br />
1. Foster adoption in the United states is a totally different process than what people think. It's a very long process and very involved with Social Services. We don't have anything to hide, but we also didn't feel like having a government agency that involved in our lives. We actually started out a few years ago looking into foster adoption, we even knew which boy we wanted to persue. He was perfect for our family. When we called to find out about him, and to see what we needed to do to adopt him, we were turned away. The person we spoke to, told us that if we wanted to adopting a waiting child we had to be open to teenagers. The boy was 10 at the time, he is now 12 and still waiting. I pray for him often. Obviously I know now that the person gave us the wrong information, but it stung just the same.<br />
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2.We decided though we wanted a young child, we didn't need to go through the baby stage. We would love to, but we didn't need to. We didn't want to wait and wait and wait some more for a baby. It works for some families, not for ours.<br />
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3. Foster care, it's not ideal, but it's still better than an orphange. Many people do no understand how terrible an orphange can be. Sure there are some that are pretty good, but it's no the same as having one on one care in a family setting.<br />
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<b>More specifically, why are we adopting from Serbia?</b><br />
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1. Late at night I was researching Ukraine and ended up on a blog about Serbia. After researching it, and speaking to others who have adopted from Serbia, it seemed very clear that God wanted us to adopt from Serbia. It's been a wonderful experience so far. We also like that Serbia really cares about what happens to the children. They are trying to make things better for the children, and are also very protective of the children's information.<br />
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2. I didn't want to work with an agency. We've checked out several agencies over the years and never really found one that we liked. I don't like the philosophies agencies have about adoption, and I didn't want want to lie about how I felt. Eric was more indifferent than I was, but I think he feels the same way I do now. I also don't understand why agencies charge so much for what they do. Oh they will tell you it's for providing "services", and that works for some families. It doesn't work for me. I want to know why, when I do it by myself it costs $13,500 TOTAL and with an agency it costs $27,000 or more and I still have to come up with travel money. (These costs vary from country to country, but there is an agency that says Serbian adoptions cost $27,000 so that's what I used as an example.)<br />
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I think that's all the big "why's" for now. We get asked a ton of strange questions, I know that most of them are innocent, but I do intend on writing down some of them in the future. Some are actually really funny.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-84052638685500132202013-10-27T21:02:00.002-07:002013-10-27T21:02:31.832-07:00UpdateSo ... I've been lacking in the writing department a lot. I apologize. I feel like we've been in a whirl wind, time has been FLYING.<br />
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Now, what's been going on? Well, work for one. We tried to get some overtime in, so we have a little extra money while I'm on maternity leave (and not getting paid). I'm hoping while I'm out, we will figure out a way where I can say home FOREVER! Or at least only work part time. We are working on it, I'm hoping God will give us some ideas. He's been helping us out a lot lately, so *fingers crossed*.<br />
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What else has happened? BIG News! We have a potential match! We are waiting to find out more, and obviously for that reason, can't say anything. Actually we can't until the child is legally ours, which works because we were planning on keeping it a secret anyway, because it's more fun to watch people guess.<br />
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Our dossier is in Serbia, being translated ... YAY! And we are hoping to hear this week when we will do our fingerprints so we can get that pesky USCIS approval out of the way.<br />
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We are SO close! It sounds like we should be home well before Christmas. We can't wait. We are so, so excited.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-91395974049883845022013-10-15T16:19:00.000-07:002013-10-15T16:19:31.781-07:00WOOHOO!Well, it's been a while, so I should really write something. This has been a big week for us. We FINALLY got all of our documents together. We FINALLY got our apostilles. We FINALLY sent our dossier! We are so excited to have made it this far. There were times when I wasn't so sure we would get it all done. Especially when we were waiting on other people to do things (like the doctors who wouldn't send our letters, and then didn't have them notarized.)<br />
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Now what do we do? Well, we will patiently wait to hear from Serbia and US Immigration. I imagine we will hear from them around the same time. It's such a relief to have made it this far!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-61931253323036990272013-09-28T07:52:00.001-07:002013-09-28T07:52:52.320-07:00Fully Funded.It's been very busy around here, so I apologize for the lack of posts. I think we have almost everything in order. I have a few things to mail off to the home study agency and we are only waiting for 1 letter from the doctor that did Eric's physical, and for our loan to be put in the account. I'm trying to get ready for the whirlwind that is about to hit us! I hear everything is about to go by very fast!<br />
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For anyone who would like t-shirts, now is the time to order. I will be making our order Oct. 1st. Also, check out our thermometer!<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-28333819431479339232013-09-10T17:01:00.001-07:002013-09-10T17:01:26.329-07:00Good thingsWell, I think our home visit went really well, much better than I anticipated. The nerves calmed down very quickly. Although, Maple (our black lab) could have been a little more calm. She really liked our social worker! All in all, we are through the hard part for right now and are breathing easily again. Now it's back to finishing the last of the paperwork and the training.<br />
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We are very close to being fully funded, which is also a HUGE relief. I won't update the thermometer until everything comes in, but we will have it all very soon. Thank you so much to those of you who've helped us along the way. Your prayers, emotional and financial support mean the world to us.<br />
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Now we patiently wait. Praying every night that, who ever our child is, they are safe ... Hold on little one, mommy and daddy are coming for you!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-88520325681165592452013-09-09T07:17:00.000-07:002013-09-09T07:17:21.591-07:00Home visit today!Well, today we have our home visit. Everyone I know is trying to keep me calm. I'm so nervous and I know I shouldn't be!<br />
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Last night I got to bed around 11. I have been up since 6 this morning, with nothing to do. Eric is taking a nap, he worked from Midnight to 6, so he's trying to get rested up.<br />
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Well. I'm all nerves and don't know what else to say really ... so I'm just going to leave it at that for now. Please say a few extra prayers for us today!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-17764674398371079322013-09-06T17:57:00.004-07:002013-09-06T17:57:52.673-07:00Blogs of FriendsSo, there have been some people who have helped us in this journey so far so I would like to take the time to list their blogs, one I have already, but I'm going to do it again. I also have a new friend, whom I met today. God brings people together in the darnedest ways!<br />
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Anyway the first blog I am going to link is for Ted and Jodi. I knew Jodi through school. We never really hung out, but we were nice to each other when we were together. Now that Eric and I are adopting too, Jodi helps keep me sane. She also lets me talk about adoption constantly (which no one else in my life will so that in itself is huge for me)<br />
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They adopted a beautiful little girl from Columbia, and are in the process of adopting a beautiful little boy from Hong Kong. (Well I hear he's beautiful, they aren't allowed to share the pictures yet) Please check out her blog, buy her t-shirt, donate some money. To do so click here: <a href="http://tedandjodicolombia.blogspot.com/">Ted and Jodi</a><br />
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Next, the woman who "brought" us to Serbia, Leah. Her blog is so informative, and she is so helpful. I would literally be lost with out her. Please check her blog out here: <a href="http://www.leahspring.com/">Leah</a><br />
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Lastly, I met a beautiful woman today. We happen to be selling the same shirts! I almost think God had me write the quote on our shirts for her. I'm very flattered that she loved my quote so much. It really means the world to me that my words have moved other people in the same way they move me. In any case, I think we will be able to become pretty good friends. If you would like to check out her blog, donate to her adoption, or buy her version of the shirt (They really are cool enough to have one of each! I know I'm thinking about it!) please click here: <a href="http://lollygaganddawdle.blogspot.com/p/no-boundaries_6.html">Lollygag and Dawdle</a><br />
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Adoption is stressful and costly, and the adoptive world is a small one. We stick together, but we really need the help from people outside the circle too. Please consider helping any family that may be adopting. You might only have a dollar, or some items to give to a garage sale or an auction, or maybe, just maybe the only thing you can give is the most important thing of all: a little prayer that their child is at least halfway safe, and their adoption goes smoothly. As someone going through this, and having only a matter of months to find $11,000 more, I can tell you ANYTHING helps. Don't feel like your gift is too small, because it's huge in our eyes!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-47857767265246723282013-09-04T18:50:00.001-07:002013-09-04T18:50:22.567-07:00Home Visit on Monday.So, like all parents going through adoption, we are having our home visit done. It's going to be done on Monday. So, like my normal self what am I doing to prepare? Procrastinating and then stressing out ... because I'm procrastinating.<br />
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It's so dumb, but I just can't bring myself to sort out the last of the things that need to be sorted. One room, the computer room. Should be an easy 1/2 hour job and I just don't want to do it. Not to mention, I have a garage sale to put together. I had some dear friends that drop off about a truck load full of stuff, yep it's still not priced, not unboxed, or sorted. Who's getting up at 5:30 am to do it? This girl right here.<br />
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I'm trying not to think about the home visit. I know it will go just fine, but it still makes me nervous, even though I know it shouldn't. I just want it to be over, so I can say, "see that wasn't so bad was it?" I feel like that is a big hurdle for us, and I feel like if we could just get through that part of it, the rest will go by fast. I could be wrong I guess.<br />
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Well, I suppose I should get off the computer and try to get a good nights sleep, so... Goodnight!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-54924477263801415432013-09-01T20:42:00.002-07:002013-09-01T20:42:32.654-07:0031!Well, even more good things have happened in the wake of our sadness over Grandma. A wonderful woman by the name of Jessica is a consultant for 31. I never really knew much about 31, but she has offered to give us 20% of the sales from our upcoming party to go toward our adoption!<br />
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It just makes my heart sing to know so many people are coming together to help us bring our little one home! Even more so that it's complete strangers. God must really want us to adopt from Serbia. There have been hardly any bumps in the road so far. (Not that I want to jinx myself!)<br />
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Anyway back to the party. We are having the party on Sept. 15th. I'm still trying to decide where we are having it, but for those who want to order online, or live far away, click here: <a href="https://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/eventhome.aspx?eventId=E3658083&from=MYEVENTS">31 Adoption Event</a><br />
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A BIG BIG thank you to Jessica, may God bless you for your very kind gift to us!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-25604971338047209542013-08-28T22:08:00.002-07:002013-08-28T22:08:44.152-07:00ThermometerAs you can see, I've added a thermometer to our page. Because Eric is typically shy, and indifferent, I felt I should point out that he named the thermometer. He was so proud of himself too! He's such a goof ball, but that's why I love him.<br />
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I will update "the kiddie pool" as the funds come in, sometimes it's hard for me to keep all the fundraisers straight, but it will be close to accurate.<br /><br />Thanks again to everyone who has helped us, whether with money, and more importantly emotional support. I don't think there will ever be a way I can repay you!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2097662961393137926.post-19292115944707540682013-08-28T10:11:00.002-07:002013-08-28T10:12:42.316-07:00Missed the announcement! I was looking through my other blog posts, and I realized in the very first post, I said we were adopting from Ukraine. Which when I wrote it, was correct. What I failed to mention on every post since then, is that we've switched countries, which I am sure all of you know already, especially if you've seen our t-shirt.<br />
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That being said, I was up really late one night researching for our Ukrainian adoption, and ended up on a blog about Serbia. It was totally random that this particular blog should have shown up in front of me, I took it as a sign from God, e-mailed to find out some more information, and here we are adopting from Serbia.<br />
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Leah has been such a great help, and what once looked like a gigantic mountain we could never climb, is now a much smaller, gigantic mountain, that we are on our way up!<br />
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Here is a link to the first post I read, the one that changed everything.<br />
<a href="http://gardenofeagan.blogspot.com/2012/01/serbian-adoptions-411.html">http://gardenofeagan.blogspot.com/2012/01/serbian-adoptions-411.html</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10494048474109165147noreply@blogger.com0